The Ultimate Guide to Personal Growth: How to Improve Yourself and Live a Better Life
10 Comments / Happiness, Latest, Mindset, Personal Growth / By Jay GrossAre you happy?
Do you strive for more in life?
Do you think that out there somewhere, there’s a better life that you could – should – be living?
When I was in my early 30s, you could say I had all but given up on personal growth.
I was living a comfortable life that was purely okay. Sure, it wasn’t great, but I got by, and I liked it enough.
I had good friends, a great family, and a decent job that paid the bills.
Only, what I now realize is that I wasn’t all that happy during this time.
I was comfortable, but my choice to stay in my comfort zone also stunted any chance I had to grow.
And unfortunate life events forced me to look back over my life and examine why I wasn’t happy and what to do about it.
In a way, I was lucky – because, without these unfortunate events, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
But not everyone gets a shock back to reality and an opportunity to examine their life — I think we all know someone who reaches the pinnacle of their life at 35 and coasts until the end.
And when you see it, isn’t it sad?
What is Personal Growth?
I believe that in order to live a full life, we have to work to improve ourselves continually. And sadly, most of us don’t. We lay back in our comfort zones, doing the same things over and over again, never taking steps towards improvement.
This attitude is dangerous, and it’s something you must actively fight if you want to live your life to the fullest potential.
Personal growth is always taking steps to grow and become a better person. It’s taking chances on doing things you love and are passionate about rather than taking the easy way out. It’s committing to continually grow to live a happy and fulfilling life.
It’s learning how to make the most out of your life and living your life to the fullest.
And it’s becoming the best version of yourself.
And it’s my humble opinion that we all need personal growth in our lives…
Why do You Need Personal Growth?
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is personal growth.
It’s a constant need, or want, to grow as a person and upgrade your life skills – allowing yourself to follow that path can be sometimes scary, but almost always enlightening.
It’s a never-ending journey, and while that sounds intimidating, that’s the beauty of it; because it’s not a destination, you are continually expanding your horizons and bettering yourself.
Personal growth is the act of consistently growing and improving yourself, your skills, mindset, and life. Developing the skills and mindset towards personal development goals will also help reduce anger, stress, and frustration by creating a success mindset.
And along the way, you’ll do more than you ever thought possible.
Do you want to grow and, by focusing on self-improvement, improve your overall well-being – mentally, physically, and spiritually?
Do you want to become a better person? A happier person? A more successful person?
Do you want to live your best life?
Then you want to say yes to the personal growth journey.
And along the way, you’ll learn about yourself, about your true life purpose, and about your struggles.
It will also help you put your goals into action and realize the importance of personal development to a new life. To your new life.
What are Examples of Personal Growth
Personal growth is in the eye of the beholder.
It could mean one thing to me, something different to you, and yet something else entirely to your coworker.
At one point – piggy-backing off a terrible event, I decided one of the primary goals in my life was to help people. That decision ended up being a significant decision in my life, and one that I strive for still today.
I went to school to become a personal trainer but kept my “day job.”
Later, on the back of another traumatic event, I decided I wanted to help people more intimately. I knew I loved writing, so I started writing. I became a coach. And because I wanted to travel the world, I quit my job to become a digital nomad in the process.
I’m not advocating you make significant changes like that, but if it’s something you want in your life, freakin’ go for it (but make a plan to get there – more on that below).
Your personal growth plan could be to go for a promotion within your company, go back to night school to become a doctor, quit your job and travel the world, or write a New York Times bestselling book.
Or it could be to simply take a trip out of the country for the first time.
There are no right or wrong answers.
Don’t be afraid to dream big, but take small steps.
I talk below about making a personal growth plan, which will help give you some ideas. In the meantime, keep an open mind, don’t rule anything out, and make note of any way you want to grow, big and small.
How to improve your life with personal growth
Two of my most significant opportunities to improve personal growth have come after negative life events spurred me to re-examine my life.
And forced with that, that’s precisely what I did.
And both times, I found that I wasn’t very happy, deep down.
Sure, I was alright, but I wasn’t really living the life I wanted.
And so I made changes to start living that life.
That’s the funny thing about personal growth – it’s so great, and yet it’s so easy to back away from it and take a seat in your comfort zone again. Until, in my case, something jarred me loose from that comfort and made me realize that I’d become complacent again.
But there are some things you can do to start improving your personal growth right now, without a jarring negative life experience to get you going.
Below are four essential qualities for improving your personal growth.
1. Change Your Thinking – Have a Growth Mindset
Having a growth mindset is the key to success when talking about personal growth.
Instead of thinking of yourself as someone who’s done growing up, think of yourself as someone who’s always growing—always trying new things, big and small.
Think of yourself as someone who goes outside their comfort zone, who is always working towards growth in some way, and who accepts the challenges to get where they want to be.
It’s important to remember that not everything has to be a massive goal for you to grow personally.
Start a meditation practice, try a new way to work out, give stand-up comedy a try, or travel to another country for a new perspective on life.
All of these are ways to use personal development to your advantage and enjoy doing it.
2. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone – Enter Your Growth Zone
Many of us stay within our comfort zone at all times, but getting outside our comfort zone is how we grow.
Most people I know want to improve their lives somehow, though many won’t say it aloud.
Because the truth is, change can be scary. It’s easy to get stuck in your comfort zone and avoid the hard work and unknown that comes with growing and evolving.
It’s important to realize that the easy way out, of staying in your comfort zone, is the only way to guarantee that you’ll never live that life you dream of; you’ll instead settle for an ordinary life…one that you may one day come to regret.
So start taking steps out of your comfort zone, even if they’re small. It’s an excellent strategy to get used to stepping into your growth zone often.
It’ll better prepare you for going on your personal growth journey and for being ready to take on life’s unexpected twists and turns that thrust you into the growth zone, too.
Here are some examples to get you started:
- Create that YouTube channel.
- Travel to another country.
- Go to a networking event.
- Go skydiving.
- Try your hand at stand-up comedy.
- Build your podcast.
- Start a meditation practice.
- Learn to knit.
- Train for a marathon.
- Take that sabbatical to Europe.
3. Get Out of the Shallow End – Jump in the Deep End
Many of us have massive plans for ourselves and our future. And yet, it never comes to fruition.
Why?
We’re scared of the work, don’t have the confidence in ourselves, don’t have the time. We fear failure, fear what others will think, and we fill ourselves with self-doubt.
We wait for the timing to be right, but the timing is never right.
We wait for the confidence to take action, but the truth is we have it backward – we need to take action to build our confidence.
There are always a million reasons not to do something.
But personal development is always worth it—every single time.
So make sure you take action and go after the things you want in this life.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Fall on Your Face
I’ve failed at a lot of things. I’ve failed as a business owner, as a digital nomad – as a human being.
But you know what?
I don’t care – I’m no longer afraid to fail.
I embrace failure, and you should too. The fact is, if you’re stepping outside your comfort zone and trying to live the life of your dreams, you’re going to fail.
A lot.
And that’s okay. It’s more than okay – it should be expected.
Failure can be a powerful learning experience (if you embrace it) and, more than that, a stepping stone to success.
If you’re afraid of failure, you might be putting yourself in a box that holds you back from reaching your full potential.
In other words, without failure, there can be no success.
That’s right, so in your natural human response to failure, which is to avoid it, you’re doing the worst thing you can do for yourself—not allowing yourself to succeed.
It’s time to stop viewing failure as the enemy.
The real failure is never trying.
Here are a few things to know about failure:
- Failure is inevitable – it’s going to happen to you.
- Failure is necessary – show me someone who succeeded, and I’ll show you someone who failed (a lot) on their journey.
- Failure isn’t fatal – far from it. It’s only fatal if you give up.
- Failure is feedback – to steer you in the right direction.
- With every failure, you will grow stronger.
- With every mistake, you will learn.
- Every time you fall, you will pick yourself up, gain confidence, and move forward easier.
How to Make a Personal Growth Plan – and succeed
So now that you’re set up to take a step into self-improvement, it’s time to create a plan.
Because without a plan – without goals for personal growth – the dreams and aspirations you have could just go to waste.
But with a solid personal growth plan in place, your chances of success increase significantly, for anything you set your sights on.
Read on for how to create your plan.
Get Clear on What You Want
What are some things you want in life?Clarity is critical because if you’re vague about what you want, you can’t plan how to get there (which we’ll discuss below), and you won’t succeed.
Maybe you know, maybe you’re still figuring it out, or maybe you have an idea, but it’s time to put pen to paper and get it down in writing.
What do you want in your life?
Now’s not the time to hold back. Get it all down, and you can go from there. Organize it by what’s most important to you.
- Start that side-hustle you’ve always wanted to start.
- Become a digital nomad.
- Write that epic novel that’s been on your mind.
- Go for that other job you’ve always wanted.
- One of the many things on the growth zone list above…
Start Crossing Off Your Bucket List
A great way to start your personal growth plan is to revisit your bucket list – and start crossing it off.Even the small things on your bucket list will help you grow.
There are so many things you’ve probably thought of and then put in the back of your mind.
- Go for that promotion.
- Go skydiving.
- Do a poetry slam.
- Get on The Moth podcast.
- Start a YouTube channel.
And start organizing your list by short-term and long-term goals. This way, you’ll have a big goal you’re trying to achieve, and you can sprinkle in some of the more manageable goals wherever you can.
But don’t be afraid to think big too…
Find Your Intersection of Passion and Strength
Maybe you don’t know what your aspirations are – I didn’t.
I had to put in some work to understand what drove me, who I wanted to be, and ultimately, my purpose.
Here are some questions to answer that can help you go down the path of self-discovery.
What are you passionate about? What makes you stay up until the wee hours of the morning because you lost track of time?
What are your strengths? What have others said you’re good at?
We all have passions, and we all have our strengths.
Our purpose lies somewhere at the intersection of our passions and strengths.
Write down your passions. Write down your strengths (if you struggle with this, ask others: coworkers, friends, family…)
Now, how can you combine your passions and strengths and do something you love to do?
To Succeed Create SMART Goals for Personal Growth
Because a personal growth goal can be so broad and ever-expanding, many people fail.
But it’s not the size that matters; it’s the plan they put in place.
Well, truthfully, they usually don’t have one.
They have an end goal, and they shoot from the hip.
The trick to success when dealing with personal development is to use SMART Goals (graphic below):
Make sure to picture your end goal, even if it’s five years in the future.
And back it up from there: What are you going to do in 5 years to make that happen? This year? This month? This week?
What are you going to do today?
Picture your end goal and break it down into small, manageable steps.
Remember, each step should be an easy enough stepping stone to manage.
And once you hit that small step, congratulate yourself on moving forward.
Then take action to take the next step.
In doing so, you will consistently see progress, create motivation, gain the confidence to take another step, and keep the action going forward.
When You Need More – Personal Growth Coaching
I was going through one of the worst times in my life.
I was struggling with depression and felt like all was lost.
What did I do?
I sought a life coach – well, a personal growth coach, to be specific.
Well, that’s not entirely true. I’ve followed him for a while, and I happened to get an email at just that time, which prompted me to reach out.
And I’m so glad I did.
Not only did it get me out of my depression, but it made me realize that I’d been missing out on personal growth for a long time.
It’s been five years since I hired my coach, and while I currently don’t have a coach, the lessons I learned changed my life.
I now feed off of personal development and am continually looking for self-improvement avenues.
And that’s not to say I’m not happy about where I am, because I am. But I’m also on the path to so much growth, and I’m finding new things out about myself every day.
Every day I’m in my growth zone.
But I understand that getting out of your comfort zone is really damn hard.
Sometimes making decisions that rock your comfortable life fills you with anxiety and self-doubt.
Even dread.
And it’s okay to reach out to someone who can help.
Personal growth coaches can help you break down barriers – walls you put up – that try to protect you but end up hurting you in the end.
And these walls need to be broken down – or you could end up like so many people – who stop living at the age of thirty-five and coast until the end.
And then look over their life with regret that they didn’t do so much more when they had the chance.
For some people, learning how to improve yourself every day is exciting and motivating. For others, this type of ongoing self-improvement might feel overwhelming and daunting.
Self-improvement is a personal journey that requires a willingness to experience discomfort. The desire to improve yourself can come on when you’re stuck in a rut or are unsatisfied with your current way of living. Feeling frozen in the same place and like nothing changes can be frustrating.
If this feels relatable, taking action is the first step toward improved self-development. Personal growth requires both consistency and stretching past what you know. Your path may not be linear, but every step you take is part of becoming the best version of yourself.
To learn how to be better, it helps to have a toolbox of specific exercises you can practice to improve your habits. The following list includes tangible self-improvement techniques you can start using today.
20 ways to improve yourself every day
Behavior change can be a long process, but it doesn’t have to be grueling. In author James Clear’s Atomic Habits talk, he discusses the power of improving yourself by just 1% every day. Reinventing yourself can be a series of small habit changes, like taking five minutes in your day to be more mindful. Or, it can be a more involved process, such as gradually exposing yourself to things that give you anxiety to overcome your fears.Regardless of the impact you hope to achieve, the following exercises can help you learn how to improve your life and work toward personal development.
1. Make time for rest
You’ll never be the best version of yourself if you’re constantly mentally exhausted and overworked. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs says you must have your basic needs met before you can achieve your goals for self-improvement, and that means making time for sleep, rest, and self-care.There are many different types of rest, including mental rest, physical rest, and social rest. Try to nail down where exactly you’re feeling drained, then work to identify moments in your schedule when you have the opportunity to take a break. Those quiet moments of rest can help you decompress and process your day.
According to UW Medicine, a highly respected clinical system at the University of Washington, rest can also increase your brain’s capacity for attention, focus, and creativity. This can give you more bandwidth to work on yourself in other ways.
2. Read more books
Reading more books can help you explore your current passions, develop new interests, and learn new skills. Some books are written specifically to help you start working on self-improvement and personal growth. However, even becoming deeply engrossed in a novel can do wonders for you.Reading introduces you to new perspectives and can help you learn to set and achieve your goals. It can also help you work through your emotions and develop empathy by helping you view the world in new ways. All of these benefits directly contribute to self-improvement.
If you’re not a fan of reading, try listening to self-improvement podcasts or watching self-help videos to gain new perspectives on how to improve yourself every day.
3. Start a gratitude practice
One way to learn how to be a better person is by practicing gratitude for what you have. Research published in the Journal of Happiness Studies showed that practicing gratitude for just 15 minutes a day, five days per week for six weeks, can improve mental wellness and contribute to a lasting change in perspective.You don’t have to feel grateful only for huge things, either. Try to notice the small, everyday things that make you happy, such as the gift of laughter or spending time with a beloved pet. Better yet, write them down each day to build a healthy habit of gratitude.
With practice, it becomes easier to naturally think of what you’re grateful for. This new perspective can change your life for the better.
4. Learn a new language
It’s never too late to learn a new language. Learning how to speak another language helps you think differently and see things around you in a new light. It can also open up career opportunities for you since employers may look for bilingual candidates.Immersing yourself in another culture and learning how different languages work can broaden your perspective and stimulate your brain in new ways. It also gives you the opportunity to communicate and connect with people from all over the world.
5. Meditate
Meditation is a great way to slow down in a busy world. Even a few minutes a day of meditation and mindfulness can help you better yourself and improve your mental health. A study published in the Irish Journal of Psychological Medicine found that meditation can improve anxiety, depression, and pain scores, especially during times of crisis. It can also help lower stress.Practicing meditation can even help you become more aware of your thought patterns, enabling you to learn more about yourself over time. It can increase your self-awareness and help you spot bad habits that negatively impact your mood and life. This self-awareness enables you to create and embrace positive change.
6. Start journaling
Journaling is a great complement to meditation and gratitude practices. It also makes for a fun new hobby.Research published in the journal JMIR Mental Health found that journaling can improve well-being and reduce mental distress. The same study shows that participants’ resilience increased after the first and second months of continuous journaling.
When you start journaling, do your best not to censor yourself. Write what comes to mind, and don’t judge what comes out. You can write about your day, list the things you’re grateful for, jot down goal-setting quotes, and more. Using daily journal prompts can help get you started.
7. Nourish yourself with healthy foods
It’s easier to live your best life when you feel energized and well-fueled. Nutrition and mental health are closely tied, and what you eat can greatly influence how you feel.Start watching what you put in your body. Eat a variety of foods in different colors across all food groups. Try to eat fresh foods whenever you can. If you don’t have time to cook healthy meals at home, look for alternatives, like meal kit subscriptions or healthy catering services.
8. Stay hydrated
While it might sound strange, drinking enough water also affects your mental health. Research published in the World Journal of Psychiatry found that drinking plain water is linked to a decreased risk of anxiety and depression in adults.Proper hydration can improve your mood and give you more energy, which can lead to increased motivation to better yourself in other ways.
9. Add more movement to your life
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), physical activity helps you feel better, function better, and sleep better, improving your physical health and well-being. Even small movements throughout the day can impact your overall health.There’s a variety of ways to start moving more. For example, you can start a new sport or exercise routine. If going to the gym isn’t your thing, try virtual workouts you can access for free from home.
If these activities sound too rigorous, consider taking a 10-minute walk each day. Even getting up to stretch every hour or so at your desk has its perks.
10. Practice kindness toward others
Giving out kindness is one of the best ways to become a better you. It’s free, doesn’t require much effort, and can help you feel better about yourself. Plus, it can improve the lives of others.Showing kindness requires you to become more aware of those around you. By doing so, you’ll notice more of what people need, even when they don’t say it.
For example, you may notice a work colleague is struggling with something you can help with. Or, you may see a stranger who needs a hand opening a door while pushing a baby stroller.
Make it a goal to do one random act of kindness every day. If you’ve started journaling, note how your kindness made you feel and how the other person reacted.
11. Spend more time outdoors
If you work in an office or from home, chances are you don’t get to spend much time outside during the day. According to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, spending just 15 minutes in a forest can decrease negative feelings like anxiety, fatigue, anger, and depression. Walking among trees was found to be more effective for decreasing negative feelings than walking in a city.Find opportunities in your schedule to spend more time outdoors. If you work from home, consider working from your back patio or front porch for a few minutes each day to immerse yourself in nature.
If your patio or porch is in the middle of a tightly packed city, try bringing nature to you by decorating your workspace with live plants, opening windows to reap the benefits of morning sunlight, or playing nature sounds in the background.
12. Develop a list of goals
If you want to improve yourself over time, it’s important to start setting goals. Writing these goals down can help you track your progress and identify potential barriers to success. It can also help you hold yourself accountable for the many things you say you’re going to do.For example, you can set a goal to walk for 15 minutes every day through the end of the year. Another example could be to read one self-improvement book this month. Whatever you choose, make sure you’re setting SMART goals to increase your chances of achieving them.
13. Work to improve your fear of failure
A fear of failure can stop you from taking steps forward to achieve your goals. Even when fear is holding you back, if you want to better yourself, it’s important to build confidence and find ways to do things that are difficult.To overcome this fear, try asking yourself what you’re really afraid of. Balance out the equation by considering what would happen if you succeed instead of only asking what could go wrong.
Remember that failures will still happen, and that’s OK. Resist the urge to beat yourself up when you fail. Learn from your mistakes and use them as an activity for personality development and a stepping stone toward personal growth.
14. Limit activities that drain you
Try to notice what drains you throughout the day. Some taxing activities may be unavoidable, like updating your budget or going grocery shopping. However, others, such as scrolling through social media every few hours, are habits you can break. Limiting them can help you improve your sense of self-control.For example, you can try a digital detox by deleting social media apps on your phone if you find yourself in a sour mood after too much scrolling. You can also try putting a time frame on your use to limit the amount of time you spend on an activity that’s draining. The goal is to do less of what doesn’t add value to your life and more of what you love to do.
15. Identify activities that energize you
Figuring out what fulfills you is just as important as identifying what drains you. Maybe you gain energy from spending time with those you love or engaging in certain hobbies. Think about the activities in your life that bring you the most energy. Then, figure out how to add more of these activities to your life.Better yet, consider how you can replace draining activities with ones that fuel you. This can make it easier to schedule time to do things you love.
16. Practice saying no to assert your boundaries
It can be tempting to say yes to everyone and everything, even when you know you’re taking on too much. This can be true at work and in your personal life.Setting healthy boundaries can ensure you have time to focus on yourself. For example, if a family member invites you to their home on a day you had set aside for self-care, you can say no and keep that day for yourself. Setting boundaries can also help eliminate distractions so you can work toward your priorities.
17. Do inner work
Inner Work® happens when you explore your inner experiences. It involves all the processes, values, and mental models you use to navigate the world. Some examples of inner work include decision-making, spiritual wellness, and self-awareness.This concept consists of using mental activities and focusing on your “inner world” to achieve a purpose or result. Inner work can be even more effective when you combine it with support from a coach and a trusted inner circle that can help you reflect and take action.
18. Become a volunteer
Volunteering is a selfless act that improves both your character and the lives of others. Much like doing random acts of kindness, volunteering can help you build empathy and a greater sense of purpose. It can also help you meet new people, expand your resume, and develop new skills. Becoming a volunteer can improve your people skills and professional skills for greater personal growth.19. Nurture your relationships
Nurturing positive relationships is a form of self-care that can result in a more fulfilling life. Growing close to others can teach you a lot about how you give and receive love and support. By prioritizing your relationships, you can become a better friend, listener, and supportive partner.A few things you can do to pour more into your relationships include the following:
- Scheduling intentional quality time
- Routinely checking in with those you love
- Engaging in healthy communication
- Building intimacy through deeper conversations
- Asking for help or requesting feedback
20. Work with a coach
One of the best ways to grow and learn how to improve yourself every day is to get support. By working with a coach, you get support from someone who can help you see yourself more clearly and who is there to help you succeed.Coaches at BetterUp know how to help you unlock personal and professional growth. They can help you set realistic goals, act as an accountability partner, and cultivate a personal development plan to improve your life.
They can also help with specific aspects of self-improvement to help you thrive, like improving your diet, increasing your resilience, or taking the next step in your career. A coach can act as a third-party partner, giving you constructive feedback and offering a new perspective.
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Are You Ready to go on A JOURNEY OF Personal Growth?
So what are you waiting for?
What’s the holdup?
Start making your personal growth plan today.
And don’t let anything get in your way – not your fear and self-doubt, not the excuses you will keep making, and not others or what you fear they will think.
Or you could sit back and watch life pass you by, one day looking back with regret because of all the things you could have done – yet didn’t.
Comfortable is no way to go through life.
But getting out of your comfort zone and into your growth zone is.
Going for that promotion, changing careers to something that makes you happy, creating your own Amazon product, or traveling the world while becoming a digital entrepreneur – that’s living, my friends.
Doing something that gives you a life of passion and purpose.
Something that causes you to smile at the day ahead, every morning before you even get out of bed.
Something that takes all the stress and anxiety and throws it out the window, that eliminates the fear, and that increases your self-confidence so that you can continue to grow in ways you never thought possible.
And all of those somethings can be the result of personal growth.
That’s why I dedicate my website to personal growth, and I commit myself to help you grow in any way that I can.
Because I know you’re capable of so much more.
So let’s take this journey together.
Go through the steps above, put your personal growth plan together, and take action.
Let me know in the comments
Let me know how you’re going to grow this year.
And let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.
